


Heartache

by CaptainYesaniChan



Category: Minecraft - Fandom, Minecraft diaries - Fandom, aphmau - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Gen, idk but it made me sad so theres that, is this angst? is that what angst is?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-23 20:14:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18557026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainYesaniChan/pseuds/CaptainYesaniChan
Summary: Losing someone is a painful experience, as much as she wishes it didn't have to be that way.------Sasha visits a grave, and remembers a few things about it.





	Heartache

It had stung her back in those woods once before, why was she letting it hurt her again? Sasha stood just at the edge of the village, it was something entirely else from the little place she had once torn apart all those years ago. The hustle and bustle was nothing like the quiet place she remembered, she couldn’t even find where her little home once was in all the new houses and shops that had sprouted up between the years.

She stepped out, careful to keep her appearance as human as possible. Her usual clothing was hidden away by a basic tunic and cloak wrapped her, hiding away the truth and keeping everyone blissfully unaware. Guards wandered around, and seeing them didn’t bother her much anymore. Once it hurt to see people so loyal to their cause and yet so blinded by it, then that pain turned to rage at seeing people serve simple, mortal lords who had more flaws than she could count. Now that she had pulled away from it all, they were just people in metal armor with swords at their sides. Just more people for her to watch in the shadows, to study in mild interest.

Blue and red streaked across her line of sight as one guard moved past, the crowd parting away from the man. Someone important she decided, she could focus and identify the blue on top of his head, and the red hanging from his shoulders. His face held a grim expression that was familiar to her, the same her former, and fellow soldier wore back home. She continued to move, away from the younger brother of Gene. Attention was not wanted on this little trip of hers.

There was an area fenced off and away from everything, tucked behind a bakery and a fruit stand. She moved towards the location, and stood just in front of its gates.

Beyond the iron fences, rising slabs of stone came from the ground bearing mournful tales and words of hope. She stepped in and stared at the few lines of names carefully. In the very back was a larger grave, and gold glittered on and around it. She had a suspicion who that was for but it was unimportant to her now. The beast had died in vain, in her opinion. And here it was in a tomb fit for a noble, how ridiculous it all was.

A woman knelt in front one of the many grey stones, all likely cut from the same rock, and appeared to be lost in an empty prayer to a careless goddess. It seemed pitiful that high honors, such as hearing a heartfelt plea were given, to a featureless deity, but it wasn’t like she could do anything to change that. Sasha stepped forward silently, the blond hair of the widow never moved or swished to see her new companion. The tomb read a very familiar name, and so the stories were true. 

Her heart cried softly at it all, and she wanted to scoff at the reaction. Such a miserable and human emotion shouldn’t plague her like that. Things like that drove knights like her to madness, pointless violence, and the unforgivable sin of betrayal.

She wanted to yank the woman away and tell her to stop before this misery pushed her to make foolish choices, but that woman would have never listened. Tears were the way people like her decided to try and move on from death. Entirely pointless in the end, but it made them all feel better so what did it matter? Leave them to their nonsense, for there’s nothing more for them in the end.

The woman stood and dusted off her skirts and coat, and Sasha slinked behind a grave. The shadows invited her to hide away and watch. She could melt away and become nothing but a watching pair of eyes, the stuff children in Meteli’s orphanage feared the most. Once she had fought creatures like that, pushing them away from underneath creaky beds with bravado and heroics. Maybe another small child would step in and drive her away in a similar manner, have her leave the light of the Overworld and into dark fire.

Once she considered walking into the fire a brave act, and the right thing to do to save a life. And yet here it was years later laid down beneath loose dirt and small pebbles, gone and left without a single care for anyone still walking on top of the earth.

The widow walked away, cleaning her glasses from dried teardrops. Sasha watched a glitter on her hand, a ring caught in the low sunlight of the dying day. 

That glitter was familiar wasn’t it? Once, she had only wanted to watch it instead of her usual routine of studying other people. Staring at the golden shine when duties were complete and the day was slow. She especially loved to see it when a second set of hands held her own, and lips spoke sweetness to her. She remembered the taste of simple, pleasant love as it rested in her mind. All the flavor was just a memory now, she would never be able to refresh it so it sat and collected dust in the back of her head. 

He was what people called kind, and clever. She supposed that was why he appealed to her once, why she wore his ring and called his name when she saw his face. She also supposed that those tears that fell back in that forest were just memories crying for a past life. Something she once was, and what she could’ve been. That widow who had walked past shared the violet of her eyes, but Sasha’s didn’t hold that human pain in them. Any small shatters in her were quickly sealed and tucked away, what would she possibly be worth with broken porcelain for skin? 

She answered that for herself, it was an easy answer that she had chosen for herself. To never be an old broken doll trapped in the past, never capable to walk on and away from that old place. That old town by the sea was just that, a town with vague memories of someone else’s life that she just happened to know. Able to peek into a life that ended in heartache, a life that wasn’t her own.

**Author's Note:**

> hi im yesani and i have no skill in angsty fics yet so i dont actually know what im doing.


End file.
